16 Best BDSM positions for both Beginners and Pros Alike
BDSM sex can be safe and enjoyable with the right precautions. If you’re new to BDSM, it might be helpful to consider taking a class with a professional. This can help you learn the basics of safe play, as rope bondage can come with both physical and emotional risks. To avoid asphyxiation, it’s best to keep ropes away from the neck.
Key safety essentials include having safety shears close by. Keeping open communication with your partner before, during, and after each session is also important. This ensures a safe and positive experience.
Bondage Without Sex
Many enjoy adding bondage to their sex life to spice things up and explore new levels of intimacy. But you don’t always have to combine bondage and sex.
For some people, bondage is a separate and satisfying experience. It does not have to include sexual intimacy or climax. If you enjoy bondage without sex, feel free to try these positions without focusing on sexual acts.
Now, let’s dive into some creative BDSM sex positions!
1. Wrists Tied to the Bed During Missionary
For this BDSM sex position, have your partner lie on their back in bed. Secure their wrists to the bedposts or bed frame, adjusting wrist spacing to suit your preferred dynamic. Widen their arms for a more vulnerable, exposed feel, or keep the ties loose for some movement.
This versatile setup works well for missionary, woman-on-top, or coital alignment positions. You can add toys or oral play to increase the intensity of this BDSM sex game.
2. Doggy Style with a Collar & Leash
Put a collar on your submissive partner and lead them by a leash around the house—or even outside—to strengthen their submission. This setup is especially effective in Doggy Style, a popular BDSM rough sex position. Try tugging on the leash with each thrust, using the leash end to tease or spank, or let your partner hold it in their mouth. This BDSM sex pose also pairs well with Turtle and Final Furlong positions for added creativity in your BDSM sex games.
3. Oral Sex While Bound to a Chair
Binding your partner to a chair offers the perfect setup for “interrogation” or other exciting BDSM sex games. Begin by tying their ankles to the chair. Next, secure their hands behind their back and to the chair. If necessary, add a waist restraint.
With your partner ready, you can try oral play or explore BDSM positions. If your partner has a penis, oral play works well.
If your partner has a vulva, use a wider chair for more comfort. The unbound partner can also stand and receive fellatio, adding a dominant edge. Other options include light BDSM sadism such as tickling, using toys, or exploring light-impact play.
4. Bent Over with a Spreader Bar
Spreader bars enhance vulnerability in BDSM sex, holding your partner’s ankles apart to keep them “spread” and exposed. Have them bend over and hold the middle of the bar. Then, tie their wrists to the bar. This creates a bent-over position that is good for deep penetration from behind.
To make this BDSM sex position more exciting, hold their waist for support. You can also use a vibrator on the clitoris. Alternatively, kneel down for oral if they have a penis. You can also provide anal play if they want it.
5. Hogtied
Hogtying is a more intense BDSM sex position that highlights vulnerability. Ensure flexibility and have a quick-release plan in case of discomfort.
Begin by having your partner lie on their stomach. Next, tie their wrists behind their back.
Secure their ankles too. Finally, connect their wrists to their ankles. In this BDSM sex pose, explore consensual non-consent scenarios, tickling, or adding a dildo for heightened stimulation.
6. Wrists & Ankles Bound During Cowgirl
For a more dominant BDSM position, tie your partner’s wrists to the bedposts above their head. Then, tie their ankles to the posts at their feet.
This will keep them in a spread-eagle position. Adjust restraints for comfort, then experiment with Cowgirl, Reverse Cowgirl, or face-sitting for added control. This setup makes it ideal for BDSM rough sex and allows for deep connection through assertive play.
7. Lying on Your Back with a Spreader Bar
Use a spreader bar for a lying-down BDSM sex position that keeps your partner restrained but allows you full control. Attach the bar to their ankles, secure their wrists, and have them lie on their back.
This BDSM sex pose is versatile. You can use it for moves like the Anvil for deep penetration. It also works for Deep Impact for more intensity. The Launch Pad allows for angled access.
Finally, the Viennese Oyster offers flexibility. For added back support, place pillows under your partner.
8. Wrists to Thighs
Thigh cuffs offer a gentler, beginner-friendly alternative to a spreader bar, perfect for those exploring BDSM sex positions. Attach larger cuffs around your partner’s thighs, ensuring a comfortable fit, then secure their wrists to the smaller cuffs. This BDSM sex position limits arm movement without causing strain. It is great for trying the Sandwich, Turtle, or Leapfrog positions.
9. Frogtied
For those seeking a deeper submissive experience, frogtying is an intense BDSM sex position that requires flexibility. Bind their ankles to thighs, with heels near their bum, and secure their wrists behind their back. In this position, you can let them bring their knees together for modesty, then gently spread them to heighten submission. Slowly running your hand down their thigh adds intensity to this BDSM art sex.
10. Wrist-to-Waist Restrained
Wrist-to-waist restraints are great for limited mobility but allow for secure restraint, perfect for BDSM sex positions. Attach the waist restraint comfortably, then secure the wrists to keep the arms restricted.
Try positions like the Bodyguard, where the submissive stands with their back to the dominant. You can also try the Jockey, where the submissive lies on their stomach while the dominant enters from behind. These positions can help deepen the power dynamic.
11. Handcuffs
Handcuffs add an intense edge to BDSM sex, perfect for those interested in restraint with a law enforcement theme. Comfortable cuffs make handcuffs less intimidating.
After practicing to avoid overtightening, try these BDSM sex positions. One option is a police roleplay.
In this scene, someone handcuffs the submissive and searches them against a wall. You can guide them to their knees for oral pleasure. Another option is to secure them to the bed for a deep, controlled experience.
12. The Mummy Hand Job & Blow Job
Full restraint creates complete control, popular in BDSM sex. For those experienced with rope bondage, try Shibari or bondage tape to achieve an immobile position. A sleep sack is a safer option for newer partners, allowing for restriction but easier release. In this BDSM sex game, experiment with hand jobs, deep throat, or vibrator play to explore control and trust.
13. Bent Over & Tied Up
To take a dominant position from behind, tie your partner’s wrists with cuffs or handcuffs. You can also restrain their ankles or legs with a spreader bar.
Then, guide them to a strong surface to bend over. This could be a couch, bed, or even outside. Secure their wrists and ankles to the surface to enhance their experience in this intense BDSM sex pose.
14. Sex While Bound to a Chair
This BDSM sex position involves penetrative sex with your partner bound to a chair. Remove their underwear, bind their ankles to the chair legs, and tie their wrists behind or to the chair’s sides. Take control by sitting on their lap in positions like Lap Dance or High Chair. Add dominance by facing them, pulling their hair, or guiding their movements.
15. Standing with Hands Tied Above
This BDSM sex position keeps your partner standing with hands tied above their head for an exposed, vulnerable feel. Use padded cuffs for comfort, securing the rope over a sturdy door or outdoor branch. Once restrained, you can try teasing, tickling, or spanking to build excitement. You can also explore BDSM anal sex or oral play from behind.
16. Face Down, Ass Up
This BDSM sex position offers comfortable yet exposing restraint. Have your partner lie face down with arms and legs stretched out, securing each to bed corners.
Lift their hips with pillows or a wedge. This position is great for edging, anal play, or rough experiences. It gives you full control in BDSM rough sex.
By trying these BDSM sex positions, partners can enjoy the excitement and closeness that BDSM games offer. Open communication and trust are key to this experience.
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